currently in the school library level 5... sounds like a good student?? nope.... in library it does not mean one should be hardworking becos i am bloggin... = to i am slacking in the library openly.... this is not something wrong... people do have days that doesn't go right for them.... okay... got it?? everything that i do today doesn't go right and i think that i got this feeling right away when i woke up, so i decided to not go to school after i received joy's msg that she is not goin to school todae.... but then thinking back again i will juz go to take my attendance and see what happens.... okay i did try to do my VID webpage.... i do have informations that i gathered for the past few weeks and what i am lacking are photos. okay i start to continue on my page design but then i found out that i would really like to use photoshop rather than fireworks but damn but laptop doesn't have it... so i guess that i have to do other stuff... then i took a break and thought what i can do... then i remembered that i can continue on my programming and i opened the assignment and had joy's reference by my side but then when i try editing, everything juz go wrong... this sux big time and not juz this when i am trying to submit my soft copy through the server it juz didn't work.... is it my fault or jux everything is not goin right?? sometimes i juz feel like would it be great that i wasn't studying but working at the moment... i know people will start to say studying is much important and i can work for my rest of life after i graduate blah blah blah but then seriously when u have no interest in it do u think u can go far?? i can say that if u ask me to do something that i have ZERO interest... i can juz drop dead in order to run away from it.... at this veri moment how i wished that the cpf thing goes wrong and i can't go to school.... i think i can suggest that i wan to go out to work at this instance..... i know that people will start to talk again..... but then i know where i can get money and where i can still at least enjoy... at the same time keep myself ALIVE at the moment..... but then u know what i think i am juz a coward infront my mum whenever i talk to her becos i feel that whatever i say to her she will have something to say and worst new year is coming and to anybody it is something that should be joyous, but then to me its a torture and i can feel the pressure building in me... it may seems that i don feel anything but the words that come from my relative is so harsh and inhumane at times which makes me see that human are actually a kind of disgusting animal living on earth this may sound harsh but then do u really think that we are superior to other animals living on the earth the ans is no and we know it yet human are arragont and confident of their intelligence. and this makes me feel GROSS!! as a human living on earth this let me feel that i am no better and makes feel GROSS at myself at times..... this make me hate my relative even more.... but i don really show it to them becos i still give them that 5% of respect becos they are my father's siblings..... but then sad to say their children are also no better than us at all..... i juz hope that i fall sick on that day to run around from everything.....

* for once i pray that new year's never coming becos i don wish to shed a tear on a joyous occasion again.........*